Cutting to the Truth
by The Dragon Guardian of the Sea
Summary: Percy Weasley. Perfect Percy, that's what they all thought. But they thought wrong. Inside the perfect Weasley was pain no one thought imaginable. Ficlet.


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A/N:_ This is my first complete angst-ish ficlet. So yeah. Be as mean as you want in your reviews or as nice. I don't care. _

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Thanks to: _My beta for this ficlet, Micro-Chick aka Jeni_

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Disclaimer: _Alright, not mine. I admit it. I almost got away with it though. _

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Why is it that if you stay locked in your room for hours at a time you're considered depressed, when you normally don't do that? Yet if you're a bit of a loner, that's quite common and no one thinks too much of it. Well, when I shut out the world, my family didn't care. They only assumed that I was working. And they didn't care about how their awful din would rattle me and make me so livid I would even break things. They didn't know a lot of things about me and they never will. I am Percival Weasley and this is how it all started.  


When my eldest brother Bill was at Hogwarts, he was Head Boy, the firstborn of course, and he had achieved an accomplishment that only few could attain. After him came Charlie who was gifted at the sport Quidditch and became Gryffindor's team captain. Then came me. Just studious, geeky, four-eyed Percy. I wasn't even given a strong sounding name like William or Charles. I was Percival, it sounds a bit high classed now doesn't it? But when your family and friends call you Percy, your enemies say you're a bit of a pansy. Being studious and a Weasley meant I would definitely have enemies anyway.

Two years after I was born came the twins. The first set of twins in the Weasley family so of course they got loads of attention. After Fred and George, came Ron who wasn't expected to do much. I felt a special bond with Ronald when he was young; we were different from the rest of them. We weren't particularly special. A year after Ron was born came Ginny, the first girl of our family. Everyone made a large fuss over her. She was our little princess and I didn't really mind her, it was just that I felt as if I were being fazed out of the family. Bill and Charlie had each other while Fred and George were twins so they were stuck with each other no matter what. I thought I might stick with Ron, but now he looks after Ginny as if she were his teddy bear. Mum and Dad have each other of course, so whom does that leave me with? The garden gnomes and the ghoul that's who.   


When I was at Hogwarts I managed to attain the honour of Prefect and eventually Head Boy. But that didn't matter because Bill had already done that. And Ron, who was supposed to be like me and different from our family, became well known at school for being best friends with Harry Potter himself! Not only that, but the two of them managed to get into all sorts of predicaments together and then be honoured for them. Even Ginny outshined us all, though unintentionally and I'm betting she wouldn't be willing to do it again. In Her first year, she was possessed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and through her, he set Slytherin's monster on students. Despite the fact that that was an unfortunate event, she was still well known. Perhaps I could have had a little bit of glory with my titles at school if the twins didn't set themselves of tormenting me endlessly. When I first arrived at Hogwarts seventh year, they had bewitched my Head Boy badge to say Bighead Boy. I didn't even realize it until I took the badge off for a polishing that night. Nella didn't even mention it.  


Nella. She had told me all about her Muggle cousin who would purposely harm herself when she felt bad. My first thought was, "How could someone actually want to hurt themself?" But Penelope explained it all. She first told me about her cousin, Constance, in fifth year because Constance had confided in her over the summer. She didn't know what to do and so she came crying to me one day. I hadn't even known her that well but she'd seen me in the library loads of times and I'd seen her too. After that, we were inseparable and luckily my brothers didn't notice.  


I remember the first time I tried it. It was during the holidays and everyone was home. Bill had taken a break from curse-breaking and Mum had managed to drag Charlie away from his dragons. The twins entertained themselves by digging out a stash of their fireworks and igniting them during supper and Mum was scolding Bill about getting his ear pierced.   


"You look like a hooligan," she snapped.  


"Mum, it's my ear on my head attached to my body. I have the right to do what I want. I'm not a child anymore,"   


Mum had just started sputtering in reply. Next to me was Charlie, ranting and raving about a new dragon that had just hatched to Dad.   


"It's a dark emerald colour that actually looks black but it isn't and it has two ivory coloured horns on the top of its head. It only looks fierce, but it's rather friendly. Since it hatched last week, the little thing has only bit me seven times!" he had rambled while Dad started rubbing his temple.  


"Just don't tell your mother,"  


"Tell me what?" of course she heard them. It's like she has a special radar that picks up the words 'Don't tell your mother' and then she automatically tunes in.   


"Er, nothing, Mum,"  


"Don't 'er, nothing, Mum' me! Tell me this instant,"  


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Cra-crack! Bang!  


"Eurgh!" George had lit a Filibuster's Firecracker that had exploded right in front of me. Of course my brothers started snickering as I felt that my eyebrows had been singed off. "Mum, may I be excused?" I had asked, hoping to escape from the table as quickly as I could, I didn't feel welcome at all.  


"Are you all right dear?" she asked while trying to smack George with her wooden spoon.  


"Yes, may I be excused?"   


"Yes, dear," and I left the crowded little kitchen, faintly hearing Mum scolding George and the rest of them still sniggering.  


Up in my room, was my place of salvation. I could be alone and I could do what I wanted. The only drawback was, I wasn't a fully qualified wizard yet so I couldn't put a Silencing Charm on the room to block out the other noise.   


Downstairs I could hear the rest of the family laughing and chattering as if nothing had happened. Gone only five minutes and already forgotten, as if they could get along very well without me. I picked up my cauldron and hurled it at the mirror, ignoring its cries of "No! Don't break me!" As the surface shattered, a tinge of satisfaction seeped into me.   


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"She would purposely cut herself, make herself bleed,"   


Nella's words rang loudly in my ears as I walked towards the broken pieces of glass on the floor.   


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"She would use any sharp object she could find. A knife or scissors or even her fingernails,"  


I had bent down and my fingers curled themselves around a long jagged piece of the shiny glass and I picked it up.  


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"I mean, she would just make cuts at her skin, just so she would feel better,"  


That day I held the point of the glass to my soft, slightly freckled flesh and pressing down, I slowly dragged it across the skin. Almost immediately the crimson blood came to the surface.  


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"For some reason, it made her feel better. It was like her solution to her problems,"  


The blood had trickled down my arm and I smiled. Penelope's cousin was right, it did make you feel better.  


That was a little over a year ago. No one knows and no one needs to know. When my days at the Ministry are rough, I tend to cut more. There have been some days where I haven't needed to do that, but usually it's a daily routine for me.   


Sure there've been close calls, like leaving a knife out or a drop of blood somewhere, but my family doesn't notice. They're too busy worrying about Fred and George's futures, Ron's famous best friend, and protecting Ginny from the evil world out there. No one notices what I do, locked up in my room. After all, why would "Perfect Percy" ever do anything dangerous? 

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A/N:_ Okay I had questions by my BETA and my friend Tammy who also read this before I posted it. _

- **Why Percy? **_Well first off, I had the plot idea and then I needed to find the perfect character. Hermione? No. Ginny? No. Ron? NO. Then it came to me. Percy. I mean, how happy could you actually be if everyone in your family managed to do something greater than you. And also if you "wonderful" boss turned out to be mad and not even know your name? I mean, he's tease dreadfully too. Like in the third book when Arthur says that the Ministry is providing cars and the twins make some remark. Remember? It says that everyone snorted into their pudding except for Molly. Well think of how he felt. I mean, that's gotta suck._

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- Who's Nella? Shouldn't that be Penny?_ I personally thought the whole Penny as the nickname was a bit overdone. And say Penelope outloud. You say Nella. So that's why I chose that._

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Any other questions? Ask in the review or if you want a quicker answer, email me or IM me or go to my livejournal and ask me there: ****

Don't forget to review! Thanks!


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